Last year, I did a series of posts with some tips on how to
polish your manuscript before submission, including:
I thought I’d covered a lot of the familiar editing notes I
make in manuscripts across these, but recently when out with a group of
my lovely clients, they were laughing about all getting tattoos of ‘and how
does that make your character feel?’ because that is apparently something I’ve
said to all of them on many occasions!
I’m known for preferring character-led books with a strong
voice, so usually I’m looking for characters with big personalities who lay
their emotions out for all to see. I don’t want passive characters who just
observe the world around them, so I suppose I do use this editing note quite a
bit.
I use this note when
something happens in the narrative and the main character (MC) doesn’t react to
it. For example:
He moved closer to me, so close
that I could feel the warmth of his breath on my cheek. This was it, time for my
dreams to become reality. I pressed my lips to his.
“What the...?” He jumped up
startled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean...”
“Oh, no it was me! I’m sorry.”
“No, no, it’s fine. Let’s just
put the movie on.”
He dropped back on the sofa and
wrapped his arm around me, like nothing had happened.
So in this quickly dashed off example, the POV character
should be confused, embarrassed, angry or something! She needs to react to what
has happened, and let the reader know how she is feeling. Otherwise we’re left
guessing. This reaction could be done physically – ‘I felt blood rush to my
cheeks.’ Or it could be a mix of emotional and physical: ‘My stomach churned as
embarrassment mixed with the pizza now threatening a comeback.’ But we need to
get inside her head.
Another example is when I see the MC witnessing dialogue
between other characters. ‘Mum said X, Dad said Y, Mum said Z,’ etc. The MC is
observing the interaction between other characters, but not reacting to what she’s
observing. You need to break into this dialogue with the MC’s thoughts on what
is being said.
Think about it like this – in every scene, a net hangs over
everything your MC can see and hear. So when any movement or sound happens, a
ripple effect means the MC is affected by this movement or sound. How does this
make her feel?
People are constantly thinking and making decisions all the
time and you don’t want to overload your narrative with too many feels, but you
can’t just have your characters just observe, especially in first-person POV.
With third-person POV, you need to watch out even more for
scenes where the MC is just observing and not interacting with what is going on
around them. Anyone who has ever read any of Rainbow Rowell’s books will know
that you can get tons of emotion and feels from third-person POV MCs if done
well. Read her books if you want a masterclass on this!
So when editing, look back at your key scenes and ask
yourself, ‘And how does that make my character feel?’
And clients, if you’re reading this, please don’t get those
tattoos!